|The Cycle of Violence
The Cycle of Violence
In violent relationships, some things happen over and over.
Tension Building Phase: The abuser's anger begins to build. The victim may try to "fix" things to keep peace, but nothing works.
Acute Violent Incident Phase: There is a violent incident. After the violence, there are feelings of anger, confusion, shock, or exhaustion. Any injuries may be ignored or minimized.
Honeymood Phase: A "loving" stage often follows. Neither partner wants to believe what happened. The batterer says "I'm sorry." There may be tears, flowers sent, promises made to change, or pleading with the victim not to leave. The batterer may even agree to go to counseling. The children may beg you to let their other parent stay.
No one is abusive all the time. It's easy to believe that things will get better if you both try...but the tension starts to build again, and ... the cycle repeats.
The abuse gets worse over time.
Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a safer computer, and/or
call the Crisis Line 530-623-HELP(4357) or the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−SAFE(7233). If you are in immediate danger please call 911.